Victims of Abuse
Concerning victims of abuse, let’s start with holding perpetrators accountable for their actions. Accountable.... what does that really mean? According to Webster’s Dictionary it means: an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility. I think that victims have a challenge concerning how crimes of battered individuals and sexual abuse are perceived for many reasons. I don’t think the majority of individuals understand what victims of abuse endure after such crimes. By the end of this page you will have more awareness as to what really happens in the lives of victims of abuse who are sexually abused and battered. I won’t be able to cover these two subjects in their entirety on this page but it will give you an idea of challenges that victims of abuse are faced with. Children that are exposed to domestic violence and how it effects them will be covered on an upcoming page. Whenever I use “he” or “she” it is interchangeably. I don’t believe that ALL men are the perpetrators and ALL women are the VICTIMS. Most people hear about a woman being abused and think, "Why does she allow that?” Or “I wonder what she did?” Instead of asking the questions; "Why does he act that way?" or “Why did he do that to her?” Many people tend to re-victimize the victims of abuse by pointing their fingers and giving the opinion of what they could have done to prevent the crime. What if we held the perpetrator accountable for their actions? Whether it is a He or She they should be held accountable. Stop making excuses for their behavior. Many side with the woman even when she is the aggressor. The argument is that “he” must have done something to make her respond aggressively. There are times whenever self defense is warranted but keep in mind that aggressive women are on the rise who abuse men. Another argument is that she was abused in the past, maybe as a child and is only responding out of a survival mode. When speaking of the aggressor and you consider excusing the women/girls then why not the men/boys? Maybe he was abused as a boy. Men were boys at one time. My conclusion, no matter who is demonstrating the abuse they must be held accountable for their actions. If we permit excuses for one gender then it must apply to both. What are we teaching our children whenever we excuse one and not the other? Battered individuals are often judged: “She keeps going back.” That doesn’t give someone a license to abuse another human being. Maybe the person was promised that things would change and they chose to believe the individual. They may have children together and that is their only source of income. They have no education or transportation. As a couple they choose to try one more time. Maybe the person is disabled and has nowhere else to go. They could be made to feel obligated that the person has taken care of them... We fail to see that there is an emotional attachment involved which is not easily broken. An emotional attachment is like the love you have for your children or parents. Would you give up on one of them? I'm not saying that a person needs to remain in a serious physical relationship. If you decide to give a person another chance and they are placing you in a serious physical situation you need to observe their change from afar. Don't place yourself in a dangerous situation with hopes that they will change and never do it again. Many have lost their lives trying one more time...
We need a balanced approach for the family unit. Provide services for both individuals and children if they are involved. Children need both parents in their lives.This is only if it is not an extremely violent situation. As a society we must be educated on the dynamics concerning victims of abuse. One out of four women will be abused. One of the four women you currently know has or will experience domestic violence.
With Men the statistics are not as high because it isn't often reported. There are many reasons that men do not report abuse. They are taught “big boys don’t cry” we teach them that they are the stronger person and never show weakness. Therefore, we have made it embarrassing for them to talk about being perpetrated by a woman or partner. Men do not have good support systems. The majority has stereotyped men as the perpetrators and therefore the services that are offered are for women. Most men who do seek assistance from their local domestic violence centers are turned away at the door. Not all of them but the majority.
National Statistics • An American is sexually assaulted every two minutes. (RAINN) Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network • Every 6 minutes, one rape is reported in the United States. (Federal Bureau of Investigations, 1997) • Less than 39% of sexual assaults are reported to law enforcement. (RAINN) • At least 20% of American women and 5% to 10% of men have been sexually abused as children. (Finkelhor, 1994) • Family members constitute 30% to 50% of the perpetrators against girls, and 10% to 20% of the perpetrators against boys. (Brief Sexual Violence Statistics) • In 8 out of 10 rape cases, the victim knew the perpetrator. (NSVRC-Some Facts on Sexual Violence) • One in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys will be sexually assaulted by the age of 18 (NSVRC-Some Facts on Sexual Violence) ________________________________________ Impact and Effects of Sexual Assault on Individuals • Seventy-five to 95% of 14-18 year-old girls in the justice system have been victims of sexual abuse. (Research on Women and Girls in the Justice System Series, 2000.) • Girls who were raped are about three times more likely to suffer from psychiatric disorders and over four times more likely to suffer from drug and alcohol abuse in adulthood. (Childhood Sexual Abuse and Adult Psychiatric and Substance Use Disorders in Women, 2000.) • People who reported childhood rape were nearly three times more likely to become pregnant before the age of 18. (Adult Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse and Subsequent Risk of HIV Infection, 1991.) • Female students who have been physically and/or sexually abused by a dating partner in the 9th through 12th grades are at increased risk for problems with substance abuse, unhealthy weight control behaviors, risky sexual behaviors, pregnancy and suicidality. (Dating Violence Against Adolescent Girls and Associated Substance Use, Unhealthy Weight Control, Sexual Risk Behavior, Pregnancy, and Suicidality, 2001.)
According to the statistics one out of the four girls you know will be sexually abused before 18 years old. And one out of the six boys you know will be sexually abused before 18 years old. Sexual crimes and battered individuals seem to be the two crimes that we tend to blame the victims of abuse. We certainly don’t blame people who get robbed and they’re victims of abuse which is a crime they didn’t choose. Many victims of abuse don't report crimes. Whenever they do it is typical for them to recant. Many times the person is threatened or the process gets overwhelming and it is easier to say it never happened. It is a very difficult process to endure. Imagine having to speak with people you don't know. Or if you live in a small town maybe you went to school with the person you have to tell very intimate details that you are embarrassed to speak about. Majority of people don't want to speak about their most pleasurable sexual encounters, let alone their worst... When we hear that a girl was raped many tend to judge her by how she acted and what she did to bring this on. There are some that will wonder what she could have done to avoid it, rather than holding the perpetrator accountable according to their actions. Why do we think victims of abuse are somehow responsible for the actions of the perpetrator? No one should be held accountable for being victims of abuse but instead hold the ones accountable for what they have done to them. Leaving Victims of Abuse and returning to Home Page
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